there are two types of crushes:
1. a casual crush, you look at them and you’re like “wow you’re pretty cute i’d like to get to know you better”
2. absolutely, undeniably head over heels oh my god are you fucking kidding me you are perfect wow i’m literally going to rethink every conversation we’ve ever had for the next 9 hours of my life please love me
there is no in between
- (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
- Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
- Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
- Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
- Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
- (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
THERE’S A 104 DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION
AND SCHOOL COMES ALONG JUST TO END IT
SO THE ANNUAL PROBLEM FOR OUR GENERATION IS FINDING A GOOD WAY TO SPEND IT… LIKE MAYBE
SACRIFICING YOUR FAMILY TO SATAN
REAL Lesbians React to Lesbian Porn!
I’m laughing so hard oh my god
Hahahahaha the one in the leather tho
GOLD STAR LESBIANS! YES! I’ve been waiting for a video to react on lesbian porn, as most lesbian porn is geared to appeal to straight men
I can’t even pretend like I can listen to this without laughing.
OH MY GOD I CHOKED
whAT IS THIS IM CRYAING
This is the theme song to my life.
A for effort
i know i just reblogged this, but i had to again….IT GENIUS
OMFG NOT AGAIN MY EVERYTHING HURTS
hi this is me reincarnated into song form
THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE.
oh my god poor Katherine I just thought about how she is going to get her first period in 500 years.
have some cookies baby
Interviewer: How do the other members of your touring band feel about the two of you fighting?
Sara: “They encourage it. Me and Tegan fought in Toronto, and Tegan took this big tarp and threw it at me, and then I pushed her, and she fell over this fence. I remember looking up and seeing Rob (Chursinoff, drummer) and Chris (Carlson, bassist) with their jaws open. They were so thrilled that we fought. The same tour, Tegan locked me out of the hotel room, and when she opened the door, I kicked her in the back and attacked her. We wrestled on the ground for 45-minutes and she’ll tell you that she won but she just got lucky and pulled my coat over my head and tried to suffocate me so I gave up. But that has nothing to do with strength; it had to do with the convenience of my jacket. When the [the band] found out that Tegan fought, they were like, “How come you never fight in front of us?”
Tegan: “We try to act like adults. Recently, the most horrible fight that we had was me locking Sara out at the hotel and then when she did get in the room, she attacked me from behind and kicked me down on the ground. We wrestled around and then I pulled her jacket up over her head and shoved her in between the hotel bed and the wall, and stood on her head until she couldn’t breathe. I think we got a lot of aggression out. I think that we get somewhere when we fight. The rest of the band was excited the next day. They were like, “You guys fought! Oh my god! Do it again! Do it again!” I like the fighting; I think its useful.”"